Wind Jokes

Our rope access crew has outstanding morale.

Wind turbine technicians never complain about the job.

Why did the wind technician bring a spare checklist to the top of the tower?

The wind is calm at the ground and has a lot of opinions at the top.

You might be a rope access technician if 'hanging out with coworkers' is a safety requirement.

You might be a wind technician if you check the forecast for the climb and the schedule for the weather.

A rope access technician hung a hundred and fifty feet up, taking a thickness reading. The radio crackled: 'Hey, quick question.' He said, 'I'm in the middle of something, literally.' The voice said, 'No problem, I'll wait.' He waited twenty minutes. Then he got the question. It was about lunch.

The wind technician spent forty minutes climbing, ten minutes inspecting the blade, and forty minutes coming down. His manager asked how the day went. 'Short,' he said. 'The paperwork will take two days.'

A rope access tech named Lee
Hung high where the wind blew free.
Said the foreman, 'Look down!'
He replied with a frown,
'I'll look when my scan's done, see?'

Blade against the sky
Cold hands, a long climb, one scan
The wind says hurry

Are you a nacelle? Because you're way up there, and I'd climb all day to see you.

Ever notice the wind farm is perfectly calm the day before the job and the day after?

Ever notice the more remote the job site, the more detailed the safety orientation and the fewer places there are to sit?

Why do blade root bolts make good friends?

The gearbox borescope gets along with everyone. It's great at getting to the root of the problem.

What is the most unreliable part of any wind farm job?

Why did the wind technician bring a copy of his certifications to the base of the tower?

The nacelle is the only office where the view is spectacular and the commute is three hundred feet straight up.

On a wind farm, 'Tower 47' is a location, a work order and a state of mind.

Wind has more energy than any inspector at the top of a tower climb, and uses it more efficiently.

You might be a wind technician if you rate every sunrise by how many miles per hour it brought with it.

You might be a rope access technician if your tool bag has more tethers than tools.

The wind farm owner asked how long the blade inspection would take. 'Two days, if the weather holds,' said the crew lead. Monday was calm. Tuesday was calm. Wednesday the wind hit thirty miles per hour. 'Why isn't anything finished?' asked the owner. 'Too windy,' said the crew lead. 'It's a wind farm,' said the owner. 'Exactly,' she said. 'Just not the right amount.'

The crew's new borescope had a seven-hour battery and a lovely screen. At the base of the tower it said 100 percent. At the top of the tower it said 14 percent. 'It's the cold,' said the technician. The battery said 9 percent. 'And the altitude,' he said, and headed back down to charge it.

Ever notice a turbine blade looks smooth from the ground and like a road map from a rope?

Nobody warns you that a tiny pit on the leading edge looks like nothing from the rope and like a novel in the report.

Ever notice a turbine earns money when it spins and an inspector earns money when it stops?

Weather Window (n.): A brief period of acceptable wind, announced just after the crew has left.

Cold wind, long ladder
One rung, then another rung
The nacelle waits there

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Yaw.
Yaw who?

Are you a pitch bearing? Because you keep me turning in the right direction.

The tower flange bolts went on a team retreat. They said it was the first time they were all on the same torque.

Why is Ultrasonic Testing so good at checking a blade's bond line?

The flange bolts told the inspector they were under a lot of tension.

Low-wind season is when the turbines finally get a rest.

Why did the inspector bring a book to the weather window?

What did the blade say to the rope access inspector?

A weather window is the gap between 'too windy to climb' and 'too late to start.'

A turbine is never down for maintenance. It is resting before the next availability report.

You might be a wind inspector if...

The inspector reached the top of the tower after a long climb, caught her breath, and opened the hatch to the nacelle. 'Everything okay up there?' the radio asked. 'Great view,' she said. 'And I forgot my torque wrench.' There was a pause. 'I have one,' the radio said. 'It's in my truck.'

Towers stand so still.
Seven calm days, and then wind
the hour we begin.

Weather Window (n.): A short stretch of good weather, scheduled around the crew's availability, which has not read the schedule.

Rope Access (n.): A method of reaching the blade in which the inspector hangs around and the schedule hangs on.

Ever notice that the wind dies down the day after the crew leaves site?

Nobody warns you that the view from the top of a turbine is spectacular, and that you get about nine seconds to enjoy it before the next task.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tower.
Tower who?