Why did the crack stay hidden?
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Someone closed its door with a grit blast.
Manufacturing Jokes
Inspection humor from the world of manufacturing. 42 jokes made for manufacturing, plus 974 more that fit every industry.
Seasonal pack: Year-End Push
The inspector found a lamination in the incoming plate. The receiving clerk checked the order. 'It says one plate.' 'It's two,' said the inspector. 'They just aren't speaking.'
The machinist said the new fixture was a perfect fit.
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That's what everyone says before the gage study.
What did the casting say to the inspector?
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'Don't take my porosity personally. I was poured under pressure.'
In manufacturing, the first-article inspection is the one time a part gets looked at as carefully as the invoice.
You might be a manufacturing inspector if you can tell a shift change by the sound of the forklifts and the smell of coolant.
First Article (n.): The one part inspected as if the whole order depends on it, because it does.
Ever notice the vending machine in a plant always stocks everything except what you want?
A forging with a lap proves some parts just fold under pressure.
Why was the casting so honest on the Radiographic Testing film?
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It had nothing to hide and a lot to show.
What is a production manager's definition of a quick check?
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Anything that takes less time than the meeting about it.
Why does the gage block always win the argument?
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It's the only one in the room that never changes its size.
On a production line, yesterday's part is a fact and today's part is a hypothesis.
The first-article report has twelve pages, forty dimensions, and one signature that took three weeks.
The weld robot never takes a break, never asks for overtime, and never explains why the fixture moved.
You might be a manufacturing inspector if your lunch box has a traveler.
You might be a manufacturing inspector if you've ever set your coffee on the surface plate and been scolded by a machinist.
A supplier shipped 500 brackets with a certificate saying every one was perfect. The inspector found a cracked one on the third part. 'Statistical outlier,' said the supplier. The inspector held it up. 'It's also a bracket.' The supplier took the whole lot back.
The plant manager cut the ribbon on the new inspection station, thanked everyone, and put a pallet of parts in front of it. By lunch there was a line of pallets behind it. 'This is working great,' he said. 'It's a queue,' said the inspector. 'That's how you know.'
Ever notice the pen always runs dry on the one line that needs a signature, and the spare pen is always the one that doesn't write?
Nobody warns you that the casting with the beautiful finish is the one with the porosity, and the ugly one is perfect.
Ever notice every process has a procedure, every procedure has a revision, and every revision has a different font?
Rework (n.): The only word in manufacturing that means doing it a second time and charging it to a different department.
A foundry shipped castings with pride,
All polished and shiny outside.
But the film, when we shot,
Showed a pore-filled spot,
And the inspector quietly sighed.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Gauge.
Gauge who?
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Gauge by the look on your face, you already know this part is out of tolerance.
Are you a first article? Because I'd check every single dimension and still find you perfect.
The Magnetic Particle Testing crew was great at their job. They were really drawn to it.
The inspector at the end of the conveyor is always on a roll.
At year-end the production line gets so busy that even the castings feel the pressure.
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They keep pouring out their problems.
The first-article part finally met the drawing.
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They were within tolerance of each other.
What's the fastest thing on the production line in December?
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The rumor that the holiday shutdown might start early.
Why is the inspection bench the busiest place on the dock in December?
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Every part wants to be on the accepted list before the shutdown.
At year-end the production schedule has two settings: 'busy' and 'busier, with doughnuts.'
The holiday shutdown begins when the last accepted part leaves the dock and the last inspection report arrives in the inbox.
You might be a manufacturing inspector if...
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...you've been asked 'Is the lot ready?' by the same person four times before lunch.
The line manager walked up to the inspector's bench on December 30th. 'Is the lot ready?' he asked. 'Almost,' she said. 'Two more pieces.' He nodded, then stayed. Ten minutes later: 'Is the lot ready?' 'You can see it from where you're standing,' she said. 'Then I'll stand here,' he said. 'In case it moves.'
Last day of the year.
The lot needs one signature.
The pen is missing.
Quota (n.): A number set in the fall that becomes very serious in December.
First-Article Inspection (n.): The one part that gets looked at more closely than every part that follows combined.
Ever notice that the part that fails first-article inspection is always the one the customer is waiting on?
Nobody warns you that the day before the holiday shutdown is the busiest day of the year at the inspection bench.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Quota.
Quota who?
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Quota me on this: it will take longer than a minute.