The inspector and the snooper truck operator wanted to bridge their differences.
Show the Punchline
It was easy. The bridge was the only thing between them.
Bridge Inspection Season
Snooper trucks, traffic control and wind on the bridge. For Civil and Bridges. 14 jokes.
The old girder told the inspector it was tired.
Show the Punchline
'I know,' she said. 'It's all there in the cracks.'
Why do bridge inspectors never get lonely?
Show the Punchline
Even under the deck, there's always traffic overhead.
Why did the bridge inspector bring a small hammer to the bolted connection?
Show the Punchline
She wanted to sound out every bolt.
Bridge inspection season has two forecasts: sunny and windy, and sunny and windier.
The lane closure lasts exactly as long as the inspection needs and exactly as long as the permit allows, and the two numbers have never met.
You might be a bridge inspector if...
Show the Punchline
...you check the weather twice: once for rain and once for the wind limit on the lift.
The inspector found a tiny crack at the end of a weld on the girder. She marked it, photographed it, and radioed the lead. 'How big?' he asked. 'About a quarter inch.' 'Anything to worry about?' She looked at the traffic, the sky, and the schedule. 'Not today,' she said. 'But I'll be writing about it for a month.'
Bolts ring one by one,
one sounds flat. She marks it, smiles:
the hammer was right.
Snooper Truck (n.): A vehicle with an arm that lets the inspector see the underside of the bridge and the supervisor see the underside of the budget.
Lane Closure (n.): A traffic restriction that gives the inspector eight hours and gives every driver eight opinions.
Ever notice that the wind on a bridge deck is always twice the forecast and aimed directly at your paperwork?
Nobody warns you that the part of the bridge you need to inspect is always directly under the part everyone else is driving on.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Girder.
Girder who?
Show the Punchline
Girder up. The lane closure starts in five minutes.