Our records are completely traceable.
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The auditor followed one from the report to the cabinet to the drawer to the folder, and then asked for a map.
Audit Season
Written practices, records and the auditor’s favorite question. For every industry. 14 jokes.
The auditor said our quality manual was a heavy-duty document. He's right. I carried it in.
Why was the Level III the calmest person on audit day?
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She had read every page twice and annotated the second time.
What is an auditor's favorite question?
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'Can you show me?' It works on every procedure and every Level II.
Why did the calibration certificate arrive at the audit nervous?
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It had an expiration date, and the auditor had a calendar.
On audit day, every binder gets a fresh dusting, every label gets straightened, and every pen gets a nervous pat from its owner.
The auditor doesn't ask about the hundred records you have. He asks about the one from March.
You might be audit-ready if you can find a calibration certificate in under ninety seconds, and a legend if it's current.
'Where is the written practice?' asked the auditor. The new Level II pointed at the shelf. 'And the current revision?' He pointed at the binder. 'And the evidence that everyone has read it?' He opened the training record: eighty signatures, each dated the day that person read the current revision.
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'That's all of it,' said the auditor, sounding almost disappointed. 'I came prepared to be difficult.'
Auditor arrives.
Binders appear, dusted off.
Labels all face front.
Observation (n.): An audit finding that isn't a nonconformance yet, but has the energy of one.
Audit season is the only time the filing cabinet is the most popular person in the building.
Ever notice the week before an audit is the only week the label maker runs out of tape?
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Audit.
Audit who?
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Audit be nice if somebody had initialed this.